It has been a long time since we last wrote to each other but I am happy to hear back from you and know that your medical training is going well. I can honestly say that your departure really took a toll on the progress of my research. Even though progress has been slow, I want to inform you that a recent experience has given me further insight into my research and the inner working of the human mind.
It happened on a full moon during the winter of 1962, the night of January 11. Strong winds as you know are common in this region, but the singularity and the resemblance to whispers carried in the wind perturbed my senses. I was tired that night so I put it out of my mind.
Upon resting in my bedroom, I slipped into the first stage of sleep, craving the sweet abyss, since I was recovering from a medical procedure. In the advanced hours of the night, I perceived a loud sound that resembled an electrical discharge. The noise escalated to a level that interrupted my sleep. I looked around to see where I was and assumed that the wind had caused the disturbance. Besides, the wind was blowing with such a force that not even the most robust pine could stand erect.
As I gazed around the room, my sight was fixed to the left corner. It was as if something had forced my sight to freeze at the moment my eyes passed over it. A ghastly feeling apprehended my body and mind as I stared into the darkness, it felt, not like there was a presence, but as if something was void. For a moment I stood still and I felt the emptiness of the room…the house…the emptiness of my body. At that moment, I felt a paralytic sickness washing over me as it bound my legs, bound my arms, and bound my mouth. Time slowed to a complete stop and in the hour of the slowest clock the needles struck the witching hour. As it came, with no anticipation, I was freed from my frozen imprisonment. In an effort to maintain my sanity I quickly disregarded the incident as mere tricks of my exhausted mind, and nothing more.
I resumed my search for the comfort of sleep with hopes of restoring my body and mind. However, as the night progressed and the hours stagnated, I fell into the alcove of my subconsciousness. I was woken up by the morbid visions of an invisible entity devouring a man in front of a crowd. Covered in sweat I sat at the edge of my bed and drank a glass of water hoping that the liquid would clear my mind. I laid back and as I faced the sky, I felt the paralytic tide washing over my body once again. I knew that my mind was not fabricating this but that it was now as real as the beating of my heart.
My body began to increase in weight and an electrical sensation moved up and down my legs. As the electricity traveled through my extremities I became anxious and felt a presence in the room. I could not describe in words the malignancy with which this presence contaminated the air, but I knew I was in danger. My only concern in the moment was to get out of bed but my body was unresponsive. My heart rate increased tremendously, and breathing became more difficult as the tide covered my chest. A terrible fear began to overtake my body and I frantically began to look around for any possibility of escape. In the silence of the night I tried to cry for help but my mouth could not utter a single word. Once again, I found myself staring at the corner of the room, but this time I saw how the shadows on the wall began to form into animate entities and rip themselves from the confinement of the wall.
These entities were shapeless in nature but kept an almost fluid consistency. They resembled blobs of darkness that would shift into various shapes and forms. Their bodies did not seem to be affected by light, for any ray of light could not illuminate their core and as a result they were blacker than the dark of the night. I could no longer hear the rumbling of trees or the beating of my heart, and wondered if I had already died.
One by one the entities began to crawl to the base of my bed and as their blackness enveloped my body, I slowly began to sink in the sheets. I tried to fight back and press against their grotesque bodies, but my body was still unresponsive. During this time my only hope of rescue became the light of the moon that illuminated the room as it rose in the night sky. I kept my steady descent and as desperation took its toll I was driven to pray to a god I don’t believe exists.
After what appeared to be an eternity my mind grew tired of fighting back, the fear of letting go was worse than all else but I had nothing left. So I shut my eyes.
I began to sink and was hardly less than submerged when my body was suddenly freed from the spell it was under. I grabbed the edge of the bed and pulled myself from the void grave. My body rose from the sheets; my mind still stuck in the daze felt depersonalized and my heart throbbed to an extreme in my chest.
I looked around to see where I was hurting and realized that the experience left physical marks on my body. My mind could not make sense of what I had just experienced. Fear lingered but I managed to walk to the restroom. I stopped at the mirror and looked into my eyes sensing that I may never feel the same again.
I hope that this gruesome tale has not altered the perception you have of myself but has rather illuminated your understanding of what lies beyond human perception. The experiments we worked on together are only the tip of the iceberg and have only been able to give us information that, although quantifiable, fails to give us the element of understanding. This experience has not only allowed me to get a glimpse of what the human brain is capable of perceiving but it has given me a sense of where my research should focus. I hope to hear back from you soon and look forward to your opinion on this matter.
Your dearest friend.